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The phone call I dreaded and wanted at the same time. [22 Aug 2006|09:13am]
[ mood | scared ]

My dad never calls, it's too hard for him to use the phone, so imagine my shock to have him on the other end of the line last night.

He is being operated on on Thursday.

I resigned yesterday stating my last day as end of September on the grounds that Dad would be having the Op soon and I had to go home to be there for it. Now its on Thursday.

I'm in shock, I want to be there for him. I'm not afraid of the operation itself, but I'm afraid of it not working and us all having to face the reality that the medication isn't working anymore and there isn't anything to be done to improve his quality of life.

My dad said he's scared shitless, and I don't blame him! 8 hours on the operating table, awake, while doctors mess with your brain is a pretty intense thing to have to go through.

10am Sydney time thursday.

ps: spain was awesome. more to come on that when I've got my head around everything else!

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Because I <3 my [not so] Little Brother [31 Jul 2006|09:48am]
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and a few random ones from Krakow

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
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Semi good news all round! [28 Jul 2006|09:38am]
[ mood | okay ]

Monday: Peta was awake :) eyes open, looking at you when you spoke to her. Lifting her head, morving her left arm and left foot. I realised that she was doing the same sequence of movement over and over, but it was better :)

Wednesday: Yarni got a nice judge :)

Thursday: Visited Peta on my own last night. She had obviously just bee bathed as her hair was all wet and they had dressed her in her own PJ's! yay! The ventilator had also been disconnected- so she is breathing on her own! Peta was asleep as she had been worn out with the whole bathing thing, but they had the TV on for her which I thought was nice. I Had a chat with the nurse and apparently Peta is following simple commands such as blinking her eyes to answer questions and squeezing a hand (although faintly!) on command :) I was so excited hearing it, but it really didn't seem real.

Peta woke up for a bit and was looking at me while I was stroking her arm. The nurse told her she was going to give her an injection, and after it was done she asked peta to blink her eyes if she was ok- and she did! I almost cried. It was so incredible. I guess it was bittersweet though, my though is- if she is following commands, does that mean she is trapped inside her body?? Adam says it may be that she is starting all over again - learning to do things, rather than re-learning or struggling to do things that she could do before. I really hope so.

Washed some of her clothes- so will be going back to see ehr tomorrow! will go after lunch so that she is awake.

Going to a free comedy show tonight- apparently some comedian who is going to the Edinburgh festival testing his material! should be cool.

Picnic in green park tomorrow to drink up some (or alot!) of the duty free vodka we have collected!

Spain in 2 weeks!!

Things are looking ok at the moment :)

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[21 Jul 2006|02:28pm]
[ mood | numb ]

I guess I should write a quick update on Peta as all of you have been so supportive over the last couple of weeks.

I received a phone call on Monday while I was waiting for my taxi to take me to the Airport in krakow from a mate telling me that the MRI results were in and that peta would most likely never wake up. He told me to get to London asap to say my goodbyes as her parents were taking her home. I cried and cried, and don't actually remember getting from the apartment to the airport. We had just missed the earlier flight back so called the hospital the see if we could come in late late at night and thankfully the nurse told us to go home first, and to come in first thing in the morning.

They had sat her in a chair for the first time since the accident- a big intensive care unit type thing, but a chair none the less. Her face was gaunt, but to see her without the life support tubes was much more pleasant. A nurse came and sat with us for about 20 minutes explaining what the MRI had actually shown and what that mean't for now and the future.

Peta's brain stem was completely destroyed on the impact with the tube which means that she will never function as a fully capable human being, and possibly never fully wake up. She isn't responding to simple commands such as hand squeezing or sticking out the tounge, however she is somewhat acknowledging peoples presence by flickering her eyes, or moving her mouth a bit.

Apparently it takes 2 years to be able to gauge the full extent of the brain injury, however her lack of response to treatment and recovery methods has indicated to the hospital that if there is going to be any sort fo scope for rehabilitation for communication and movement it will most likely not be for a very long time. For this reason they're trying to get her home asap, however the costs and logistics involved are astronomical.

80,000 pounds to take her home on a commercial flight. That’s 250k australian.
8 seats get taken out of the rear row of the plane and peta gets sedated and put on a stretcher. Accompanying her would be one family member, an intensive care nurse and her ventialtor machine which is supporting breaths that she is taking herself. Hopefully the govt here will contribute as its cheaper to send her home than keep her in a 2000 pound a day hospital bed, but the rest.... On top of the money, being peak season in Australia there aren't any seats.

It has all been pretty surreal seeing as though we were told that she likely to pull through. A couple of friends had organised a betting tote to raise money for her mum- a 5 pound entry to buy a time slot that you thought she would wake up in. I'd say we're all in shock.

So this is where it stands now. I can talk about it suprisingly calmly, but I'm pretty sure that it hasn't hit me yet. talking about it actually helps me to realise that this is really happening and I'm stuck in a bad dream- Thank you to you patient ones who have leant me your ears. The thing that scares me the most, is that she is fully comprehending everything that’s going on around her, but stuck in her body. It's something that we will never know. I dream about Peta as she was, and never will be again. I cry in private, but I'm strong for her family and my friends.

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Thank You! [04 Jul 2006|03:43pm]
Big fat squishy thanks to everyone for their responses to my last post.

Unfortunately I have no good news to report, but gladly I have no bad news to report either.

Peta is still the same- the pressure on her brain has been going up and down a bit, but not in anyway that the nurses etc are overly alarmed about.

Her Mum, Dad, Nan and little sister flew in yesterday morning and are all relieved to be able to see her. They're so grateful for everything that we've done, and have asked us to keep visiting.

More positive vibes!!

meanwhile I am soooo tired. I haven't slept properly since the accident and have been having manic recurring dreams about Peta every night. My functionality is probably at about 10% and my boss has told me on numerous occasions that I can come and go as I need to from work. As much as I don't want to be at work, I don't want to be at home, or alone, or anywhere where I can be left alone with my own thoughts for long periods of time!!
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I need your prayers to God or Allah or Budda or whoever you believe in [02 Jul 2006|10:45am]
I have friend called Peta.

She is in a drug induced coma and they don't know what is going to happen to her.

On friday night the girls and I went to a bash in Notting Hill. We were drunk, merry, happy to have a night out with each other without the boys. The bar called Trailer Happiness was cranking, the cocktails were specially made for us and the bar tenders were yummy.

Peta Sally and Mel left to get the last tube, I tried to convince them to stay and get a nightbus home, but they left to get the tube from notting hill gate station.

My phone rang all night with a number I didn't know. I answered at at 9am, hazy with alcohol to be faced with the news that no one wants to hear- let alone when we're all alone here in london.

Sal- Peta had been hit by a tube- medical induced coma. Nothing was making sense anymore.
Adam got me in the shower, dressed and on a bus to the hospital. It all took too long- I needed to be there for her- she's my best friend in London.

Intensive care unit let us see her- knowing that she had no family here. The nurse explained all her injuries before we were allowed in 2 at a time.

Her face is smashed up, half her head is shaved. adue to the knock on her head there is swelling and pressure on her brain. They've medically paralysed her and put her in a coma to keep the brain safe, but they have no idea whether there will be damage, paralysis or anything until they take her out of the coma once the swelling has gone down.

Nurse: She isn't pretty- she looks like she's been hit by a train.

And she did. Her head is so swollen that her features are like squished and small. Mega bump and swelling where her face is damaged. The tube down her throat into her chest keeps her breathing at such a steady pace that she looks peaceful. I keep thinking her eyes will just open and she'll talk to me. all I could see in my dreams last night was Peta in the hospital bed.

10 of us shared her bed side over yesterday- breaking only for lunch, ciggarette breaks and to comfort each other.
Owen heard a story via 3 people about what probably happened. The worst for us all was not understanding how she got to where she is now.

Sally and mel left her to get on a different tube. Apparently this girl owen spoke to saw a girl vomiting over the edge of the platform at Notting Hill right where the train first comes into the station at full pelt. Peta had her head over the edge, the train came round the corner and while the train was still moving she was stuck between it and the platform by her legs. A man was there, and grabbed her and pulled her out of the gap. She would have gone under the train if he hadn't have been there. She had her eyes open and wasn't reacting- they thought she was dead and covered her. Ambulance must have revived her and took her to Charring Cross Hospital where they called mel who was the last dialled number in her phone.

Her parents fly in tomorrow morning. I'm going to be at the hospital tomorrow until they get there so that Peta has someone with her. Heading over this afternoon as well with everyone else. It's really made us all evaluate how far we really want to be from our families.

PLease keep her in all of your thoughts- send her positive vibes.

She's a Country girl from Dubbo.
She's a fighter.

I love you Coobs, and I'm never going to let you catch the train home alone again.

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[23 Jun 2006|10:08am]
[ mood | pleased ]

Graham Poll is a dickhead.

Australia is the awesome-ness and I am uber proud.


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Weekend in a nutshell... [20 Jun 2006|11:19am]
[ mood | content ]

big load of garble behind the cut with loads of bad photos!!!Collapse )

Today I love London.

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Work Ball [09 Jun 2006|03:27pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

A couple of pics from my work ball- please ignore the size of my arms and face- i hope it was really just the angle or I'm really chunking on more than I even realised!!

a pic of my dress and shoes:

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It was a garden party for 1000 people with two of the biggest marquees you have ever seen. One for the bar and chilling out, with stilt walkers and carnivale dancers, and the other set for dinner.

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The Garden was a massive green green lawn, with a novelty jaz band on stilts and dodgem cars and a merry go round. The side shows had funny prizes and the drink was flowing. A shame I can't remember the last 2 hours I was there!!!

I have a few more pics of my own which I'll post along with Photos of a crazy day out at an antipodean club in london as soon as I get them uploaded!

hope everyone is keeping well despite the weather! I'm going to spend a lazy weekend in the park after my big night out at turnmills tonight. Weather is set to be sunny and 28 degrees all weekend :)


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I am alive!! [24 May 2006|11:30am]
[ mood | busy ]

Things have been manic with me actually tryingt o figure out whether I'm coming home in October [with my return ticket which is not extendable :(] and everything that may go on in between!

taking my lil bro to Krakow

backpacking around spain for 2 weeks and using my mad spanish skills

5 days at a villa in Tuscany.

All booked and now I'm broke! Work ball next friday, and buying a dress and shoes and pedicure has majorly dented my bank account and left me eating cheap fruit and minute noodles. Ah well- as long as I feel good on the night!

I will leave you with a few photos from recent (actually not so recent!) adventures in Amsterdam!

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looking back at those photos, maybe I should note that it was queens day weekend in the Netherlands, which basically means a crazy crazy party where they close entire cities, dj's set up in windows, street corners [practically everywhere!] and everyone parties in the streets for 3 days.

despite partying I did make it to the tulip fields.... where I rolled a joint under a windmill in a windmill in a tulip field in the pouring rain, got very stoned and drunk and got lost in a hedge maze.


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Welcome to corporate whoredom (boredom?) [06 Apr 2006|10:32am]
[ mood | giddy ]

I have officially landed the job of the century.

I came over here to get experience in corporate and legal libraries, my current job is corporate environment, and the job I have just landed is assistant librarian for a giant giant law firm.

It's one of those firms that people see on your resume and are impressed, its the kind of job that I thought I would only ever dream of getting!

I'm pretty stoked right now :) and the more awesome thing is, that they have offered me MORE money than I asked for! hahaha

It's a 12 month maternity contract, but I'm probably only going to work it for 6 months and then head home. Summer here, and then Summer at home! After my double winter I think I deserve it!

woohoooo shopping on saturday!

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Amazing Amazing Tunisia [05 Apr 2006|10:04am]
I figured I’d let photos do most of the talking. Tunisia is seriously one of the most visually incredible places I have ever been in my life. I would pick going to North Africa any day over Europe- easily. It wasn’t an easy holiday, but it was definitely the most rewarding one I have ever been on.

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masses of photos- some quite big. Enjoy!
click here for your viewing pleasureCollapse )

Sorry for the dodgy tour commentary- I really just wanted to let the pictures give the feel :)
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1st day back at work. [03 Apr 2006|02:39pm]

a child got taken into foster care by social services on the weekend- no access to the mother.
she has been in twice today already trying to access her child who is in the nursery upstairs.

a different mother came to a group this morning wearing sunglasses. the glasses taken off revealed a broken cheekbone and a very very smashed up face. she has 3 year old twins, and was about to do something about the violence and had come to us for help. unfortunately she has done a complete 360 and now doesn't want to do anything about it. he's depressed, he won't be able to finish his course, the children were sleeping, I provoked him. it made me feel sick. the family will now be reffered to social services where she may lose her children if she doesn't do the right thing- report him and leave him.


Tunisia was amazing, but feels so long ago already [I've only been back 13 hours].
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[22 Mar 2006|10:39am]
A rundown of the last couple of weekends: Birthday and St Patricks Day in Dublin

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massive long update post with photosCollapse )

The weekend was ok, Everyone gave me the shits in the end (esp Geoff) and I don't think I will neccessarily travel with these people again! They were so too crappy and not easy-going enough for my liking! I think the fact that none of us ate properly, or slept properly at all over the weekend probably contributed. For now I'm looking forward to my African adventure- starting on Sunday.
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so.... [17 Mar 2006|12:15pm]
[ mood | sick ]

I currently suck at updating.
My excuse is that I have a cold- a bad one!

I'm going to Dublin tonight, yay! but am dreading flying with a cold..... will have to drink loads of Guiness to make up for it.

I don't actually like Guiness, but I can't taste anything at the moment, and I am told Guiness tastes different in Ireland.

My birthday was great- thanks all for messages!! was tres awesome and I felt the love <3

mega update will come next week with bday and st Pat's day pics. I promise- really.

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edit: [06 Mar 2006|12:07pm]
I want to come home
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My life in a nutshell. [06 Mar 2006|10:42am]
read here for what I have been up to (not very exciting)Collapse )

Tuesday sees my dads appointment with the Neurological Guru Dr Silberstein to determine what to do re. his badly deteriorating parkinsons disease. It kills me to be on the other side of the world, but mum won't hear of me coming home because of this. Please wish/pray/whatever you do that they find a means to make his life easier and more enjoyable for as long as possible.

Dinner next friday with Adam at a Tapas bar <3, drinks and dancing at a cuban bar with adams sister Anna and friends, Family dinner with his cousins on Sunday. I hope that all these activites will abate my homesickness.
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and again! [15 Feb 2006|03:14pm]
honesty please all!

[I'm not easily insulted]
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Jumping on the bandwagon... [13 Feb 2006|05:47pm]
proper update this week, I promise, but for now......

please fill it in- will take 2 seconds!
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Australia Day! [27 Jan 2006|12:38pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]

I had pretty low expectations for Australia Day here. I could see a group of us getting together in a pub, downing one beer after another and bitching about being here and not at home. Well, was I wrong!

Gus' mate Owen from uni has moved over here and has just started managing a really little pub near Tower Bridge called 'The Dean Swift'. We arranged to meet there after work for drinks, and everyone was to bring along fellow aussie friends. Owen used to manage the coogee bay hotel, and when the Fosters rep for his pub here just happens to be the same rep from back home in Sydney! Many straw fosters hats, beach balls and boogie boards, £2 bundy and cokes and much Hilarity was to be had...

To paint the picture-

Owen the Manager was plastered an hour into our fun

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and by the end of the night, I was pouring beers behind the bar and just giving them away

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click here to see what went on in between..Collapse )

I don't even like bundy, but I felt compelled to drink it for some patriotic reason and now I don't feel so good.

All in all it was an awesome night- far superior to the seedy australian Walkabout pub where all the other Australians living in London were!

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